The New Blog

I have a joke and here it goes

“I made a decision this morning that I would spend a few hours procrastinating. But I never got round to it.”

So I procrastinated the whole day.

Nah, that wasn’t true. What was true was; I did procrastinate since I got back home from the base, which I served my National Service (NS) since the day I was posted out of Home Team Academy.

And it’s only now I’m starting to blog about it, about my freedom, about my life.

Tiredness can be felt at beneath my feet where soreness lingers. Sleepiness is evident with every wide yawn in almost less than a minute. And I’m still typing as if I’m fully awake. No matter as everything is a fresh start; a fresh new blog in a fresh new email address, used to post a fresh new and first post of this virtual journal where everyone can read.

The good note about now is that I’ve decided to meet my problems head-on as Izuddin. I’ve another blog in Tumblr which I give myself an alias. Initially because I always cowered in the shadows without a light of hope, fearing what others would say of me, I thought the name would do well for me to create a realm for myself to vent out my dissatisfactions and frustrations.

It is only recently that I have this statement in mind; in order for him (the personality of my alias which I intend to “don”) to be born, Izuddin must first rise. It probably sound corny to some of you especially when I had those words in mind just as the movie The Dark Knight Rises was gaining popularity during that time.

It doesn’t matter.

I’ve decided to face my problems head-on, knowing the limits of expressing myself in the cyber world. If there’s anything irking me too much, I’m best pouring myself out to a friend or get my personal hardcopy journal jotted down. I’m not sure what I’m going to say in the upcoming days, months or years. My blog may probably gain popularity since a reason for me to do this is to open myself up. Alright –that “gaining popularity” thing is a joke; the “opening myself up” does really mean serious business –in a nutshell, I mean socialising.

If there’s anything I daresay, it’d be; I’m different from who I was before enlisting into NS. I was probably a dark and sombre guy back then. And that doesn’t mean I’m an all-cheerful and optimistic person. It’s just that I desire a change in myself by having new perspectives of things around me, expanding my mind and heart towards those around me. I don’t think I’ve to know them anyway. However, people are what we need in life. I wish I can live all by myself without relying on anyone. If I’ve to rely on God every single moment of my life that alone is enough to prove that I need others. If there’s anything which demands for a question to the need of others, the only answer I have now is; love.

So does the other guy still exist? He does and he will… whenever I need him. After all, in order for him to be born, I must first rise.

I’ll do my best to keep all my complaints and the venting of frustrations in somewhere private. Until then, do keep a lookout for the next update.

Yours & Only

‘Iz